SOMEHOW, IT’S TRUMP’S FAULT

Real event · technology · 2026-10-07

Pornhub's Return: A Sinister Plot to Corrupt Australian Youth

Final verdict announced: October 8, 2026 at 2:01 AM ET

Satire

The extreme prosecution of the sourced event.

What actually happened

Real headline

Pornhub returns to Australia but only for adults with Apple devices

The world's most popular porn site went dark in March in Australia due to age verification laws.

Original reporting

Sources

• BBC News — Pornhub returns to Australia but only for adults with Apple devices — 2026-10-07
  Original reporting. Open the source; this site does not replace it.

What the record shows

Pornhub had to comply with age verification laws.

The extreme prosecution

Opening Argument

The prosecution argues that the return of Pornhub to Australia is not merely a benign event but a calculated move to undermine the moral fabric of society. The prosecution alleges that this decision is intricately linked to the rise of age verification laws, which were designed to protect children but have now become a tool for exploitation.

Exhibit A: The Plausible Link

The prosecution submits that the timing of Pornhub's return coincides with the increasing availability of Apple devices, suggesting a deliberate targeting of impressionable youth. In the prosecution's theory, this is no coincidence; it is a strategic maneuver to lure young Australians into a world of depravity.

The Domino Effect

The prosecution imagines a future where children, armed with Apple devices, are exposed to explicit content at an alarming rate.

The Hidden Danger

The prosecution urges that the hidden danger lies in the potential for addiction and the impact on mental health. The prosecutor alleges that this is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

Closing Argument

The prosecution submits that allowing Pornhub to operate in Australia is akin to opening Pandora's box.

Verdict

The prosecution urges the jury to consider the long-term implications of this decision and to hold accountable those who prioritize profit over the well-being of society.

Prosecution exhibits

1. Prosecution theory: The return of Pornhub is a calculated move.
2. Prosecution theory: Apple devices are being used to target youth.
3. Prosecution theory: This will lead to moral decay in society.

Reality Check

The world's most popular porn site went dark in March in Australia due to age verification laws.

Satirical commentary based on the sourced facts above. Not a news report, campaign, or endorsement.

See the opposite spin

Hub facts Somehow spin Not spin Compare both spins

Previous · Next · Archive · Canonical: /somehow/stories/pornhub-returns-to-australia-but-only-for-adults-with-apple-devices-ignrss